So, a few weeks ago, when I was talking about how there were some things that I was thinking about editing, but decided not to because I liked those scenes?

Yeah, they’re all gone.

It was all stuff that I loved, it’s true. But I loved it for me, not for the story, and it didn’t offer anything relevant to the plot. THIS is the hard choice that I wasn’t ready to make before. THIS is why I got five form rejections in five days. It hurts my heart a little bit to see all that stuff go. But you know what? It’s all right. I don’t regret having written it in the first place, and I’m glad I have my previous drafts saved so I can hang on to those deleted scenes. Even my first draft, which I look back on now and just kind of shake my head. I’ve come a long way in the past six months and I absolutely love this learning process, even if it has left a bitter taste in my mouth from time to time.

I do feel bad that I started querying too soon, and closed some doors on myself before I was truly ready. But there are still lots of places I’d like to send it, once I’m finished this revision and get a bit of feedback on it. Next month should see me querying anew, with a stronger manuscript, one that maybe actually has a chance.