Category: Writer’s Low Page 1 of 2

Ugh.

By

On May 29, 2013

In My Failings As A Proper Novelist, Things That Are Hard, Writer's Low

What goes here?

What goes here?

I’ve been sitting, staring at this page for the better part of an hour – or rather, glancing at it, then closing the window in disgust and going back to read about kittens and typewriter maintenance and eating boxes and boxes of crackers.

I feel like I’m being dragged out to my death in stormy seas by a vicious riptide, trying to write these days. The words just aren’t there. The ones I do manage to shovel out seem dull and uninspired. All I see when I write, is how much work editing is going to be.

I’m so close to finishing my first draft, and I feel like things should be different. If I’m not excited about writing the climax, will people be excited about reading it? None of my characters are getting along at the moment, and writing conflict is right up there with taking a cross-country trip on a bus with a broken toilet, for me. Right now I’m plugging my nose and praying I can make it to my destination.

The Midpoint Blahs

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On April 9, 2013

In Just Keep Writing, Things That Are Hard, Writer's Low

I haven’t felt like blogging much lately. Writing is hard, thinking about writing is hard, everything is hard.

I have the midpoint blahs.

Is it a coincidence I recently crossed the 50,000 word mark? I don’t think so. This happens to me every time around this point, and it doesn’t help at all that I’m working on a collection of scenes with crazy POV issues that are probably the hardest thing I’ve ever had to write. Does any of this sound familiar?

I’ve been writing this story foreeeeeeever. How can I still have so much to go?

Nothing in this chapter makes sense.

I don’t feel like writing today. Or tomorrow.

I have no idea what comes next.

Everything I’m writing is absolute garbage. Why do I even bother?

I’m forcing myself to work through it, even if it’s only a thousand shitty words a day that I’m sure will be completely re-written in subsequent drafts. That’s okay. Every crappy sentence gets me further from the midpoint and onto something new. I’m also considering taking a break from this part of the story and jumping ahead a few chapters for a change of scenery before coming back. What I’m not going to do is stop writing! It’s BS to give up every time things get a little bit difficult. As a very wise fish once said,

Panicking. Probably Prematurely.

By

On February 23, 2013

In By the Numbers, My Failings As A Proper Novelist, Things That Make You Weep For Your Sanity, Writer's Low

It seems I’ve decided to take Secret Option C in reference to my last post on whether to keep writing my current work in progress or go back to my completed novel and spend some time editing – that is, to write and schedule a bunch of blog posts instead, thereby avoiding the dilemma altogether.

Anyway. I’m starting to look at my work in progress and what I’ve crossed off on the outline so far, and I’m feeling the  first prickings of concern in the back of my brain. I’m at roughly 23,000 words right now, and I’ve made it through a third of the points on my outline. If things remain consistent, I’m looking at a first draft total of around 75,000 words, which is too short, as far as I’m concerned. And I have absolutely no idea what to do about it, other than wait until I’m finished and see how it all turns out.

This, this here, is the downside of outlining for me. If I didn’t have one, I wouldn’t be obsessing about this right now. It’s utterly pointless, it is. But I can no more stop myself from doing it than I can stop myself from biting my nails or worrying about solar flares.

Some time will definitely be spent this week poring over the outline and seeing if there’s anything I can add to it. I like to have lots of extra words at the end of the first draft so there’s plenty of room for cuts. If I start out with only 75,000, I’m going to end up with a novella.

Frustrating. Ridiculous, but frustrating.

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The Query, The Quandary

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On January 11, 2013

In Learning, The Next Step, Things That Make You Weep For Your Sanity, Writer's Low

And I thought editing was hard. Writing a query letter, specifically the part of the query that describes the story, is enough to make me smash my head against the screen. I did that last night, actually. Twice. Thankfully my MacBook’s a sturdy machine.

There’s a lot of great resources out there to help writers along the way, but a lot of it’s conflicting. Loglines! No loglines! Reveal the ending! Don’t reveal the ending! Include a bio! Don’t include a bio!

And then there are helpful suggestions like my dad’s for a letter: “Yo bro’….what’s up with THIS??”

Love you, dad, but just no.

Slowly, I’m getting there, but it’s agonizing. I’ve re-written the damn thing ten times and probably have another ten ahead of me before I’ll be satisfied with it. The biggest problem right now, I think, is that I’m never going to know which one is best. And a lot rides on that letter, you know?

Back to head smashing.

*facepalm*

By

On November 29, 2012

In My Failings As A Proper Novelist, Outline, Things That Are Hard, Things to Ponder, Writer's Low

I’m working on my rough outline for the final book of my trilogy tonight. Which is great, right? All my ducks in a row and all that. Only as I’m building the climax I’m realizing that two of my most important elements, resolutions to questions that go all the way back to the first book, kind of conflict with each other. And seriously, I need to have them both in there. All kinds of other things depend on them. I really need to put my brain to work on this one and find a creative solution that will allow me to have both in harmony with each other, because as it stands right now, the reader’s going to get to that point and basically go, “but… you just said that…” *headscratch* “that doesn’t make any sense…” and it will all be a giant letdown.

It’s funny how you don’t really realize stuff like that when it’s all just in your head, but then you put it down on paper and immediately see that there’s a problem. So I guess thank god for outlining, or freenoting really since this is just a jumbled mess of ideas right now.

Now I’m going to go ponder the immensity of what the true definition of humanity is, because it’s no smaller problem than that. Sigh.

Stick A Fork In Me

By

On October 12, 2012

In My Failings As A Proper Novelist, Writer's Low

Oh my GOD so many things about this book are driving me around the bend right now. Everything is wrong. My first chapter which I thought two days ago was much improved is awful again. My hook isn’t hooky at all. It’s a sharp pin that pokes and stabs and says “don’t read me! don’t read me!” Some of my characters are shockingly one-dimensional and way underdeveloped. The song lyrics I struggled all day to write today are at best amateurish. And the formatting! The formatting is all wrong.

Revising it into what I want it to be is like trying to stuff a live octopus into a lunchbox.

Last week we were such good friends. I loved you. What happened? Where did we go wrong?

I’m ready to walk away.

Well This Is A Good Sign

By

On October 1, 2012

In Things That Are Hard, Writer's Low

Good to know.

So it’s been all of 48 hours and already I’m missing my book. Last night after I put my kids to bed I kind of wandered around the house, saying, “what do I do now?” to myself. And today all the time I usually spend thinking about what I’m going to write later that night felt like the same thing. There’s a book-shaped hole in my heart right now. I don’t like this advice to sit and wait for awhile before starting to edit. I’m not sick of writing. I don’t feel like taking a break. I feel like jumping right into the second book (my cliffhanger ending is apparently most vexing, even to the author who knows what comes next).

At the very least I want to re-write the first two chapters. That’s not considered editing, is it? That’s, like, writing things better than they were before. Totally different. Right?

You Would Think…

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On September 5, 2012

In Learning, My Failings As A Proper Novelist, Research, Writer's Low

…that a person who worked as a researcher for years would look something up for accuracy ahead of time before making it an important plot point. Right? That would be the sensible thing to do.

Yeah, not so much, if you’re me. And it was one of those stupid little takes-five-seconds-to-verify things. Two words to type into Google Translate. I’ve been meaning to do it for months. Turns out my knowledge of foreign languages isn’t quite as good as I thought it was and I made a mistake that puts me in a bit of a quandry. Shitfuckdamn. Time to dig myself out of another hole.

Oh, Shit

By

On August 19, 2012

In My Failings As A Proper Novelist, Revision, Things to Ponder, Writer's Low

I spent my evening hunting around for tips on first-draft editing, and found some stuff – mostly blog posts – that I think will be really helpful. Whereas I’ve been approaching revision with a sense of dread, now I was getting excited about it. So, yay about that.

Then a search engine result caught my eye and I clicked it. It was about standard word counts for various genres of novels. Whether you call what I’m doing urban fantasy or paranormal romance, the standard for both is apparently 90,000-100,000 words. Deviating from the standard can equal automatic rejection for unpublished authors (and I’m assuming I’m considered unpublished because I’ve never published fiction, only journalism).

I’m sitting at 88,000 and am nowhere close to the end.

So now I’m not all that excited about revising anymore. Because chances are good I’m going to be looking to cut around 20,000+ words.

I’m fucked.

It’s Not Even Funny Anymore

By

On July 5, 2012

In My Failings As A Proper Novelist, Things That Are Hard, Writer's Low

Uh-oh. Guess which one mine is.

I cannot believe how indifferent I am to writing these days. I have free time most evenings, but I’m not using it at all. I have ideas, I know what I want to write, I just.don’t.feel.like.it. And I feel guilty about it, because I’ve already taken so much time, time that I could have chosen to spend with my family or friends or doing other, productive things, but I didn’t because I felt like this all needed to get out of my head. Now that I’m halfway my momentum has completely stalled and I feel like if I’m not going to continue, then all that time could have been put to better use. Yesterday I had every intention of writing – I had almost three hours set aside – but I kept putting it off, putting it off. Even the threat of having my pie taken away if I didn’t write something wasn’t enough to get me going. I just went pieless. Now I’m sitting here again, in my writing spot, with my writing blanket and my writing laptop perched on my writing legs (okay I don’t have special legs just for writing) I’m procrastinating. First I had bills to pay, then I had some very important facebook things to look at, and now I’m blogging about my failure to progress, despite the fact that everything is in order for me to ACTUALLY WRITE except my brain. My brain wants to check today’s Wimbledon scores and read DYAC. What’s going on, brain? Why haven’t you wanted to write for the past two weeks? Don’t you want pie? Is this a normal thing everyone goes through sometimes, or should I start getting worried? I want to finish. I WANT TO FINISH. Just… not now.

I’m going to open my doc and stare at it until it shames me into writing something, even if it’s only 200 words. Maybe a tiny nudge will get the ball rolling again.

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