Category: My Failings As A Proper Novelist Page 1 of 3

…And We’re Back.

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On October 1, 2014

In My Failings As A Proper Novelist, Talking It Out, Things That Make You Weep For Your Sanity

I forgot to compose a blog post for the last two months, it seems. Writing has just been writing. Sometimes I do it. Sometimes I don’t. Sometimes I query. Sometimes I don’t. There have been no major revelations or hurdles in my authorial life lately.

I had surgery at the beginning of September and thought I’d spend my prescribed weeks of recovery at home with my feet up, writing thousands of words every day. It turns out I can’t even comprehend reading on morphine and Percocet, much less writing. I haven’t produced a single word in a month. Yes, it’s my old familiar friend, the midpoint blahs. I’m familiar enough with my routine now to know that the stretch from about 30K to 60K words is rough going even when I’m clear-headed.

I’m also indecisive as hell. Sometimes choices paralyze me and I end up doing nothing at all while my brain parses every single pro, con and outcome in an endless chain of inactivity.

Case in point: I find myself preoccupied with what path to take my writing time on going forward.

  1. Continue writing The Unknowing until I’m finished my first draft. I have about 35K words now and I’m aiming for 100Kish. At my pace, this represents another 4-5 months of work. Complete the trilogy and put it to bed, while continuing to query for it. Pros: the satisfaction of finishing something that’s occupied me for close to three years. Cons: those midpoint blahs. Spending more time on a project that so far has not resulted in any promise of publication.
  2. Put The Unknowing aside for now and begin a new story that so far has only a two-page outline and some scattered ideas in various notebooks. Pros: That new book glow writers get. The excitement of developing new characters and plots. Cons: The fear that I’ll lose the voice of my current project. The self-imposed perception of quitting or giving up.

I’ve been mulling for the better part of a month and I just can’t decide, so I’m going to put it to you, the reader, with the aid of the handy poll function I just discovered I can use. I will wait a week and then base my decision on the results.

A Writer Writes. Except When She Doesn’t.

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On July 27, 2014

In My Failings As A Proper Novelist, Research, Things to Ponder

I’ll admit it. I commit the cardinal sin of writerdom.

I don’t write every day.

I know, I know, I know. Get into the habit, blah blah blah. Writing requires dedication, blah blah blah. You’re not a writer unless you’re writing, blah blah blah.

Good for those people.

I prefer the words of one Burton Rascoe:

“A writer is working when he’s staring out of the window.”

Or perhaps this quote from Donald M. Murray:

“Even the most productive writers are expert dawdlers…”

Here’s the thing. I don’t think sitting with my fingers on the keyboard is the only way to write. I am writing all the time. What I call ‘future-writing.’

I think it’s fair to say that about 75% of my writing happens in my head. It’s collecting experiences, bits of emotion or imagery and filing them away to use later. Jotting a few words in a notebook that will form the basis of a novel. Remembering the rawness of receiving bad news, the delayed shock and feeling of betrayal that follow. Taking an extra few seconds to really look at a piece of graffiti in a foreign city, or the way tree roots crack through the mortar of an ancient stone wall. These things are all writing, to me. They inform the words that are yet to come. I think they’re just as important, because they make the words feel real.

That’s not to say that the actual word-writing part isn’t important too. I go in fits and spurts between the two – sometimes I’m only at the laptop, sometimes I’m taking in the world around me. These past six months have taken me all over the world – to Iceland and Vancouver and California and Hong Kong and Japan, and I’ll see Belize and Wales and Scotland and Amsterdam before the year is through – and the things I’ve taken away from those places, whether they’re specific to a location or just an encounter with someone who I wouldn’t have met had I stayed home, make the words that I have written brighter. Last year I visited a coastal town that’s going to be the inspiration for my next novel. Could it feel half as real if I’d never been?

Now that I have a bit of a lull before I hit the road again (two whole weeks!) I’m eager to reconnect with my laptop, for although I’ve lugged it around the globe, I produced nary a sentence. Who would want to travel such distances to keep their nose buried in front of a screen?

You can’t write unless you’ve lived. Right now, I’m doing a whole lot of living, word count goals be damned.

Mutiny!

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On May 23, 2014

In Just Keep Writing, My Failings As A Proper Novelist, Things That Make You Weep For Your Sanity

I’ve often heard other writers say their characters are in control of the story and they’re just along for the ride, that every day writing is an exercise in finding out what they’re going to do next. That is so not me. Even when I was technically a pantser with no outline on paper, I still knew the complete storyline in my head and spent a great deal of time every day plotting out what the next day’s writing would look like.

So imagine my surprise when I realized this week that I, too, don’t seem to have much say in what some of my characters are doing. Two of them keep making out. In my head, I’m all, “okay, here comes a suspenseful and dangerous bit,” and then my fingers hit the keyboard and they proceed to try and take each other’s pants off. I’m at my wit’s end over it. I need things to happen, and those things don’t include kissing. I mean sometimes they do, but only when I say so, dammit!

The last couple books I’ve read have been rather smutty. Maybe that’s the cause. Whatever it is, I need to get things back on track, and I fear my delete button is going to be putting in a lot of work this weekend. Or maybe I’ll just run with it and see how things pan out, because you never know. Maybe sometimes the characters do know best.

Face. Meet Keyboard.

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On July 16, 2013

In My Failings As A Proper Novelist, The Road to Publication, Things That Make You Weep For Your Sanity

And then meet screen. And then meet tabletop.

Query letters are bastards to write. Really there’s no other word. Writing the book was easier. Even editing was easier. Since I wrote the first draft of my query, I’ve done more drafts than I did of my novel (12 vs. 6). It’s also taken the same amount of time as my manuscript revisions took (four months), and nearly as much time as the first draft.

That’s insane.

Now I’m at the point where I’m obsessing over single words. Leave it in or take it out? Where to put the most weight, voice, hook, concept or pacing? And the big one for me, Canadian or American spelling?

I’m losing sleep over it. I’m waking up at 4am to take out a comma or move two sentences around. THE QUERY MUST BE PERFECT YOUR ENTIRE PUBLISHING CAREER IS DEPENDING ON IT the internet screams.

I’m giving myself 48 more hours and then whatever I have at that point is what goes out. Seriously, enough is enough.

Ugh.

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On May 29, 2013

In My Failings As A Proper Novelist, Things That Are Hard, Writer's Low

What goes here?

What goes here?

I’ve been sitting, staring at this page for the better part of an hour – or rather, glancing at it, then closing the window in disgust and going back to read about kittens and typewriter maintenance and eating boxes and boxes of crackers.

I feel like I’m being dragged out to my death in stormy seas by a vicious riptide, trying to write these days. The words just aren’t there. The ones I do manage to shovel out seem dull and uninspired. All I see when I write, is how much work editing is going to be.

I’m so close to finishing my first draft, and I feel like things should be different. If I’m not excited about writing the climax, will people be excited about reading it? None of my characters are getting along at the moment, and writing conflict is right up there with taking a cross-country trip on a bus with a broken toilet, for me. Right now I’m plugging my nose and praying I can make it to my destination.

Do You Ever Really Stop Rewriting?

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On April 16, 2013

In Just Keep Writing, My Failings As A Proper Novelist, Things That Make You Weep For Your Sanity

I was just minding my own business, looking for some new books to read online (Amazon recommended this one for me and I think in this case it’s very smart) when out of the blue I thought up a way to rewrite my query letter. I’ve sent out around 15 and gotten no bites so far, so I’m actually glad this occurred to me because I think it’s way more interesting.

But then it got me thinking, do you ever reach a point where you’re just done? Like 100%, time-to-file-this-bitch done? I work as a freelance journalist part-time, and I never agonize and rethink my articles the way I have been for this book and this letter. I write them, proofread once and then submit them. With fiction there’s always just one more little thing, and then a few days later, a what-if-I moment comes to mind and I’m back to fiddling with things. It’s never anything major like changing a character’s gender or switching from paranormal to a Western-inspired historical cozy mystery (well once it was, but I thought hard about it for quite some time before I actually made the change and it wasn’t quite as crazy as either of those examples) but these little lightbulbs keep going off in my head. Recently I made two characters related when they hadn’t been previously. Sometimes it’s something as trivial as a single word.

And speaking of rewriting, I’m already almost at my Camp NaNo goal of 20,000 words for the month, and we’re only at the halfway point. It was shockingly easy to achieve, and now I’m feeling like I should have set my goal higher, maybe 30,000. BUT close to everything I’ve written during this time is going to need a massive overhaul in the next draft. What I’ve got now is the roughest framework, a dirty rented scaffolding shoved up against a building that’s about to undergo massive renovations.

Wait, that metaphor isn’t quite right, is it. The book should be the building, so I’m the dirty rented scaffolding? Or maybe my laptop is? Yeah I think it’s the laptop. I’m the bricklayer who spends more time wolf-whistling at all the ladies with the nice getaway sticks than working.

It’s too late to for this shit, I should be in bed.

Recipe for Success

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On April 13, 2013

In My Failings As A Proper Novelist, Things That Are Awesome

Today I woke up early and sat around and daydreamed then went for a hot stone massage then got day drunk and now I’m getting ready to write.

What could possibly be bad about this plan?

She says as she rums spell check for the third time.

Because It’s A Day Ending in Y, I Must Be Changing My Mind

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On March 23, 2013

In My Failings As A Proper Novelist, Revision, Things That Are Hard

So, a few weeks ago, when I was talking about how there were some things that I was thinking about editing, but decided not to because I liked those scenes?

Yeah, they’re all gone.

It was all stuff that I loved, it’s true. But I loved it for me, not for the story, and it didn’t offer anything relevant to the plot. THIS is the hard choice that I wasn’t ready to make before. THIS is why I got five form rejections in five days. It hurts my heart a little bit to see all that stuff go. But you know what? It’s all right. I don’t regret having written it in the first place, and I’m glad I have my previous drafts saved so I can hang on to those deleted scenes. Even my first draft, which I look back on now and just kind of shake my head. I’ve come a long way in the past six months and I absolutely love this learning process, even if it has left a bitter taste in my mouth from time to time.

I do feel bad that I started querying too soon, and closed some doors on myself before I was truly ready. But there are still lots of places I’d like to send it, once I’m finished this revision and get a bit of feedback on it. Next month should see me querying anew, with a stronger manuscript, one that maybe actually has a chance.

Panicking. Probably Prematurely.

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On February 23, 2013

In By the Numbers, My Failings As A Proper Novelist, Things That Make You Weep For Your Sanity, Writer's Low

It seems I’ve decided to take Secret Option C in reference to my last post on whether to keep writing my current work in progress or go back to my completed novel and spend some time editing – that is, to write and schedule a bunch of blog posts instead, thereby avoiding the dilemma altogether.

Anyway. I’m starting to look at my work in progress and what I’ve crossed off on the outline so far, and I’m feeling the  first prickings of concern in the back of my brain. I’m at roughly 23,000 words right now, and I’ve made it through a third of the points on my outline. If things remain consistent, I’m looking at a first draft total of around 75,000 words, which is too short, as far as I’m concerned. And I have absolutely no idea what to do about it, other than wait until I’m finished and see how it all turns out.

This, this here, is the downside of outlining for me. If I didn’t have one, I wouldn’t be obsessing about this right now. It’s utterly pointless, it is. But I can no more stop myself from doing it than I can stop myself from biting my nails or worrying about solar flares.

Some time will definitely be spent this week poring over the outline and seeing if there’s anything I can add to it. I like to have lots of extra words at the end of the first draft so there’s plenty of room for cuts. If I start out with only 75,000, I’m going to end up with a novella.

Frustrating. Ridiculous, but frustrating.

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Balance

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On February 22, 2013

In My Failings As A Proper Novelist, Revision, Things That Are Hard

I feel like I’m being pulled in all different directions at once. I want to keep writing my work in progress! I want to go back and edit my completed novel! I want to work on the outline for my next novel! I want to eat all the pie!

Well the last one I can do while I’m working on any of the above. Pie goes with everything.

But seriously, I don’t know how to manage my time when I have so many different things I want to be doing. I’m the sort of person who eats all of one thing on my plate before moving on to the next, which I also consume in full, before starting in on the third, and it’s a bit the same with writing. Right now doing anything that isn’t adding to my work in progress feels like sliding backwards, but I also need to get moving on finishing up some edits on my first book so I can start querying. For some reason it doesn’t feel like a good idea to have two books of the series completed before I start sending it out. I’m just so in love with writing right now, and while editing never feels like work to me, it is harder.

So. Decision time. I think I know what I have to do – take a short break from writing to focus on editing. I can keep putting it off, waiting for time to be “just right” according to various imagined criteria that will never be met, but only one should really matter – whether I’m ready to do the work.

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